You know your Mom is your Personal Stylist when: -Every Sunday while you’re in the shower getting ready for church, she is busy preparing your ‘church wear.’ -Every time you’re about to just step out of the house, she will lower the bulletin/paper she had been reading. pull down her reading glasses, squint her eyes as if she is not sure whether she is looking at her own daughter or the neighbour’s dog and say; “Is that how you’re going out?” -Every time she returns from the market she has bought you a bunch of clothes which she will present to you and say; “I bought you some ‘correct clothes.’ No be that your girls things them.” -Every time you’re both out shopping, she will squint at every mini skirt or strapless top that your eyes wander over. One time we were leaving for church and we were almost running late. My mother noticed me lingering in the back as she ushered my sisters and brother out of the house. “Ah, ah. Where is the skirt I ironed for you this morning?” Ewo. This woman. “Which skirt? I didn’t see it.” Of course I had seen it. It was the most flamboyant skirt I had ever seen in my entire life. I was convinced this skirt was part of Malvolio’s costume that had somehow fell into my mother’s hands. The way she had spread it out, its huge pleats and folds seemed quite daunting and intimidating to my dainty hand-picked ‘just slightly above the knee’ fitting skirt which I had decided was one of my favourites. Mother’s choice was well-pressed and tailored as compared to mine. I could see a few crumples that I had missed while I had rushed through the ironing but that did not in any way deter me from choosing my dainty little number over my Mom’s choice. “Of course you did,” she replied. “If you know what is good for you, you will go and put on that skirt right this minute.” Chai! Does this woman even know that that boy who carried the flag in our National march past three months ago is coming to church today? This skirt will definitely be my downfall. “We are already late, I cannot change now,” I said wisely. But my Mom had no time to waste. she was already walking away. “Your sisters and I have gone. If you don’t want to trek to that church today you will hurry and meet us in front of the road before we take a taxi.” I ended up wearing the skirt and sitting at the back of the church. The follow up of events from that day can only be recounted in another lifetime. Not in this one. They could not have been more embarrassing. But at the end of the day, I cannot be more grateful than I am now for all those years of having my own personal Joan Rivers. The reprimands may have seemed annoying then but I can laugh at them now and they have certainly made me the person I am today. The good/bad (you decide) thing about it is that mothers never retire. They only go from one stage to the next. For example, my Mom has now been transferred from active member of the judging panel to an audience member with a VIP pass who may be given the occasional opportunity to put in a word or two. This print skirt that I found on one of my thrifting sessions totally reminded of this story. And I simply had to pen it down. Is your mother your own self-nominated stylist? If not, who is? Blazer- H & M Skirt-Thrifted Blouse Mars & Spencer Bag- House of Fraser Sandals- Faith Art Becomes You Twitter: @enjema Instagram: msaidyl1 Tumblr: msidylle Out with a bang!