I was reading this article yesterday on Bella Naija about Toke Makinwa and her beau Maje Ayida and the PDA in Lagos. The article mentioned the pair have been dating for 11 years. What I found even more intriguing were the comments that ensued:
‘Dating for 11years????????? Key holder things, she wants him by all means for her to hangon, Maje please wife her now, you have been getting free milk for 11years, dont you want the cow?…[sic]’
‘Walahi she tried. Dating a guy for 11year? That’s equivalent as getting married now! And still now, no child(ren), cos the guy would hv stopped using condom now. Not even an engagement ring on that finger? She tried oo. So the guy has been enjoying free food for the past 11yrs??? Like seriously? It still baffles me though. No hard feelings trust me but omotoke, u tried..[sic]’
‘Maje please wife that babe, she has tried…’
How could they have dating for 11 years? Will he ever marry her? Has she not been dropping any hints or what?
My question is, when does dating become too long? After 7 years, 9 years, 15 years?
What is the average time for two people to be together in a relationship before
they the guy decides to take things further. Some people in similar situations have become experts at the art of hint-dropping and begged their boyfriends to tie the knot to no avail.
But then again, I’ve seen genuinely happy couples who just don’t believe in matrimony. It’s all a farce to them. For some people, marriage and and all the legal nonentities that come with it ruin and jinx an already happy and joyous union.
What most girls dread in such situations is a guy who will walk away after 13 years worth of memories, trust, planning, overcoming, laughter, tears, nicknames, arguments…(insert applicable experience) and marry another girl he’s only been with for a year or so. #thunderfire!
This is defintely not true for everyone. Quite a lot of guys who date a girl for a very long period do not have plans of taking off. It could be one of many things stopping him from taking things to the next level. Financial reasons, marriage phobia (this fear is real y’all), midlife crisis etc. But if your man starts looking like this
every time you mention a possible future together, then by all means, do a Usain Bolt.
If 15 years is too long, when is the ideal time for a guy to make that knee drop and pop out that long-awaited diamond?
Personally, even though I support happy (key word there is HAPPY) couples in their long-term-next-to-infinity relationships, I just prefer to see growth and evolution in any union I get involved in. Even if we are not getting hitched anytime soon, we should at least have future ‘settling’ plans in the works.
Which umbrella do you fall under? Do you think you can be with someone for as long as a decade without a legally binding contract keeping you together?
Come to think of it, for some people it only takes them a few months to get to know each other, fall head over heels in love with them and next thing you know, they’re tying the knot. Some of our great grand parents dated their partners for decades before tying the knot; some of them never even tie the knot yet they live together till death does them apart. So all this fuss about numbers and wasted years, are girls just being paranoid? Does it really matter if, or more importantly WHEN he puts a ring on it?
Please tell me oh. Let me know when to start giving my man the side-eye…
Everyone has an opinion, what is yours?
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Love & Light x